Testimony · November 25, 2024 · Part one of a series

Born Again on LSD: Part 1

by Jonathan Hansen, MDiv

There are moments in our lives that rock us deeply; moments that hang on in our consciousness, relentlessly requiring a reckoning. I imagine that most everyone reading this post, regardless of age, has at least one such experience under their belt — whether it be that time you were caught lying, or the death of someone irreplaceable. These times function as fulcrums of change for us; whether for good, or for ill. They are powerful, and can elicit dramatic transformations, but the nature thereof is contingent.

When thinking about moments like these I sometimes recall what my Old Testament professor, Joy Osgood once said: “When the Israelites found out that God was going to be living among them, it wasn’t necessarily ‘good’ news. It was BIG news.” Likewise, moments of transformation can be big and life-changing, but whether or not they work for our good may depend on some things — namely, our attitude toward them.

Recently, Hunt Priest and Bryan McCarthy published a vocative article entitled Psychedelic Christianity: From evangelical hippies and Roman Catholic intellectuals in the sixties to clergy in a Johns Hopkins clinical trial, which briefly discusses the psychedelic experiences of several people within relatively modern times. What makes the article particularly interesting to me is the relationship with Christianity that the participants had. I won’t go into the details of it here. However, I invite anyone interested, to read it and the subsequent commentary that other scholars have provided found here: Psychedelic Christianity: Commentary and reply. I only bring it up because of its relevance to my own ‘born again’ conversion to Christianity nearly 30 years ago now. It was unusual. LSD was my midwife.

Like many of those described in Priest and McCarthy’s article, my experience was, shall we say, less than ideal. In fact, it was messy, and definitely not to be taken as a model to follow. Nevertheless, it was intense in some ways in which I needed intensity. And so, I offer it for your consideration.

As I recall, it was a Tuesday night in the summer of 1993. I was 15 and my brother and I, with a small cadre of friends trekked up to the abandoned airstrip near our house and its surrounding woods to have a bonfire, smoke some pot, take some acid, and just have a nice time together. The LSD was on Orange Sunshine blotter paper, and I took one square which my friend surreptitiously supplemented with two more when we were alone. A dose this size wasn’t that big of a deal to me. I had taken that much before. In fact, by this time I fancied myself as somewhat of a veteran. But then again, don’t most teenagers feel that way about life? And after all, we were living in the Midwest — not exactly known for an abundance of pharmaceutical grade LSD readily available to high schoolers.

Up the hill, as we shouldered up around the fire, the evening was progressing pleasantly enough. Someone had brought a bong, and it wasn’t long before we were all pretty toasted. The LSD, of course, took a bit longer to come to effect; something closer to an hour. But, before long, I began to feel that ‘dizziness, feeling of anxiety, visual distortion, symptoms of paralysis, and desire to laugh,’ (LSD: My Problem Child) that Dr. Albert Hofmann reported from the first LSD session in history, April 19th, 1943.

If a description such as that doesn’t sound exactly ‘fun’, well, yeah, you’re right. Psychedelics, while they can usher one into beatific visions, they can also rake one over the coals, so to speak. This is one reason why they are not generally considered to be habit forming, or psychologically addictive. This is also why many refer to them as ‘teachers’ of a sort, for the experiences they are capable of bringing can teach us things, like a calamity can, or like true love can. And so, if one takes these chemicals recreationally as I was, instead of prayerfully and intentionally, one can often be in for a rude awakening; which is exactly what was in store for me, particularly after my friend wandered off into the dark woods and the cops showed up.